A guy named Kojima at a company named Konami made this game about people who talk all the time about random things and politics, and some people bought it I guess so he made a new one. This is the second, and it’s called Sons of Liberty. They were people who didn’t like England a long time ago, but there’s also apparently people like a vampire or a guy who’s fat. If that made sense, you still won’t understand this game, since it’s confusing and not good in any way.
See, it starts out okay, just with a lot of talking. There’s the Snake man from before and now he’s on a boat and he has to take pictures next to hundreds of people who don’t see him. Then a Russian guy steals a robot in the boat and you realize the game won’t make sense, since the guy has a man in his arm. There was this guy called Liquid Snake even though a snake can’t be a liquid and he died in the first game but now he’s an arm and can live as an arm attached to mister Ocelot man’s shoulder instead of his arm. Arms don’t have brains. How also can Ocelot talk like Liquid in a british accent? Arms don’t make you have accents. That makes more sense than most things in this game, even. It’s sad.
See, this is like an hour. You run around the boat shooting people then hiding them in lockers and then walking to the next room and hiding yourself in lockers and other things for no reason. It’s like they were just like “We can do things since it’s the PS2” then made the boat to show that you can do things, like shoot bottles and have them break or watch boxes get wet. It’s cool, but it’s not, since then you do something else. After this you do a different part where you play as someone who I thought was a woman but isn’t. He’s Raiden. He has white hair. Then you play as him, but he is not Snake. Snake is on the box and the back of the box and the title screen and the opening and the boat. Why can’t he be in the other place?
So now you’re on the thing called the Big Shell which isn’t that big and is lots of hexagons. You have to fight these terrorists who reference American history which is interesting but not when I should be playing a game. At this point, nothing makes sense. One of the guys is a bisexual vampire who can float and likes knifes. Another is fat. One is a black woman who carries a huge gun, and the other guy is old yet is like you. It’s weird, but they don’t do anything, since they just get together and talk about stuff like nuclear weapons still and why things happen. There’s just more talking. Lots of it.
Every now and then you can play the game, but it’s lamer now than before. You get to do cartwheels. Most of it is similar to the game before but now you can shoot in first person! That’s not as exciting as the exclamation point suggests. You can’t move while doing it. Lames. You also have to keep doing things like hiding them or dropping bodies into the ocean because otherwise people will see the body, look for you, then a minute later forget and everything will be back to normal again. There’s also a bisexual vampire.
See, all the places look the same, and you just run a bit and maybe use a grenade or gun and then you have to hear people talk. It’s this again. Why not make the sequel good? This time you have a girlfriend and so you don’t want to save, since when you save you have to hear her talk a lot about things like “I’m Rosemary. I reference Titanic and am a spice and hate you and let’s have anniversary remembrance time but you don’t remember so I’ll talk more.” I don’t like her, she’s annoying. Why does Raiden man love her? He should love someone good. You also have to talk to people from the first game, and one of them is talking about a film about escaping from New York and the other likes anime and cries. Why is this game so bad?
The other characters are horrible too, since there aren’t many, just the president man who supports terrorists and this colonel who seems like the one in the first game. He yells at you. There are only a few members of the terrorists, and they’re called Dead Cell and Sons of Liberty and there are other terms like La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo-Lo-Lu-La-Li-Le-Ly or something equally lame and the Patriots which aren’t football players and more. It’s like they had random names and used them to refer to random things even more than once, like how many of those do. S3 means so many things that they then probably got a dictionary and kept turning to the letter S and writing down words and juggling them and putting them together and making the plot from that, since there are too many of them. Like, a lot. Many.
See, you never do things. Just that small running, and the plot makes little sense. There are too many plot twists and all this stuff about how environmentalism is good and everything is a conspiracy and everything happened on April 30th. Most of the stuff they do is the same as in the first game, in fact it all is. You have to get most of the same weapons and fight bosses in the same way and there are the same characters it’s just in New York on a lot of hexagons instead of Alaska. Did they not have any ideas already? They just stole ideas and reused them and made people talk about more random things. There’s too much talking, but not about anything that makes sense.
Maybe they didn’t want you to understand the game since then you would realize the plot isn’t good, or that there isn’t one, since it’s weird and just about people talking about whatever anybody wants to say. Again, not even important things, just like as if they were Waiting for Godot and decided to talk about politics instead of taking off boots, but it’s just as boring. Actually Beckett was better, maybe Kojimimimima tried to copy from that man too.
The game looks a bit better than the other one, at least, since the main guys have eyes, but while the boat looks like a boat the hexagons just look lame. They’re all hexagons, and they all have the same colors: orange. Everything is orange. The boat looked good, but the rest is lame. Also, everyone looks pretty much the same as before, even other people, like there’s a new ninja who looks the same but isn’t supposed to be or something. The game confused me many times.
I really don’t see how people can play these games. It’s just like the last one but weirder and with a bisexual vampire and too many hexagons. Were they not able to make those in the last game so they felt like doing it only now? And why so much orange and not making sense?
Posted by massany7 