Building a game can be somewhat hard, especially if you actually want to put work into it. These guys, the guys at Konami, obviously didn’t want to actually do that work. They felt games shouldn’t be games, since you actually play games, and making something to play costs money and time and more things. So he made a movie, but didn’t want to actually spend the time and money making one, so he made a movie then made a game that isn’t fun. At all. In any way.
There’s this man named Solid Snake, and he has a brother who looks just like him except they look nothing alike and his brother has a British accent. They have to be at this place which store nuclear weapons but is also an office building. Yeah, it makes no sense. They try to make the plot really confusing later on by adding all sorts of plot twists but the main story thing is about metallic gears which are robots with nuclear weapons somehow and they can walk. Why make it walk? Why not make it have wheels or fly? Or be a boat? The game is lame.
You can talk to people along the way, but they’re also so lame. There’s a colonel who hates everything, a man who sounds like another character but they hope you don’t notice that, a Chinese girl who reads sayings and poetry, another girl who loves you sometimes, this scientist man who made the bad machine yet doesn’t like it and does like anime, and some other people who are equally uninteresting. You can call them on this thing called Codec, which is a radio that freezes time and other people can’t hear it. Wow. See, it just reminds you the game isn’t real in any way. Instead, it’s quite lame.
So while pretending the story is good because there’s a cutscene every three minutes and nobody actually does anything that’s real and people lie and there are plot twists, they decided to also throw in some complaints. These guys hate nuclear power and eugenics and war and the fact that people exist and everything else, so they keep having scenes that go into tangential tangent tangents about how bad things are by showing movies. Why so many movies, men? This is a game.
You also have bosses which aren’t really realistic in any way ever? You have to fight these guys and they can fly or survive guns and helicopter explosions, and when you kill random guys you have to hear them talk a lot about crows and how much this kid hates his dad and the Kurdish-Everyone who isn’t Kurdish conflict and why people in England don’t like foxes and everything else. They just talk, since they don’t want you to play the game you payed to play and instead of playing you sit and go like “I’m not playing this game!” Then you’re sad. It’s lame. It’s like they had a bunch of ping pall balls and instead of playing ping pong since that would be work they put topics on them and randomly picked some and then made a lots of speeches with them. Why not instead make a game?
Anyways, for something like around five minutes every couple of ten minute periods you get to actually play and then you really realize why this game is bad. The game pretends to be a stealth game where you have to not be seen, but that’s really just being a couple feet away from people and hiding in a box and running into another room if they find you. See, these guards have often Alzheimer’s or whatever it is that makes them not remember since after several minutes they just seem to ask “I never saw anyone?” and leave. So you just run, and occasionally shoot, but not well.
See you have a gun, but the people can hear them well so if you press the square button you basically die unless you run a short distance and hide for a minute. In other words, this game is bad. Sometimes they just make you do stupid things like move controller ports or looking at the game case instead of playing the game. They basically just did these things so you can pretend the game makes you think when really it just rants about random things and makes you do random things. The whole game is basically just existing to string together the rants. Maybe these people should just write books about topics they find noteworthy and not make games, though this is barely a game since it’s mostly something you just sit there for and listen to lectures y characters.
You get lots of weapons, like one named after Communists and one that lets you plant suitcases that explode, but you don’t often have to use them. You also can’t. See, you just run around and hope you’re shooting well, since you can’t aim or go into first person or see where you’re shooting since the camera man is above your head not letting you see anything. They just did this kind of thing so you can’t see the graphics, which aren’t fun. Snake man doesn’t have eyes, all the walls are blurry and lame, and the areas are all the same. You’re just in an office and outside and in a cave and a tower and other places that are all either inside a lame building or outside in lame snow with no animals except birds and some rats. Why not let Snake pet a moose?
Also, you only run back and forth and forth between all these places, since the area is small and the guys at Konami place didn’t let people actually go and have fun and explore and see Alaska even though this place is in Alaska. So you run around a lot and keep going back and doing some parts like a cave with mean wolves many times. They could have made more than just a few places you do over again but they didn’t, since they were lame and just wanted to write things about things and have characters say them for several hours.
Then there’s music, and there are only two songs, and they aren’t even interesting. One is in Russian or something which I don’t speak, and the other one is the main theme or whatever that plays when you get caught and it lasts for only a minute since after that the guards forget. That’s not real at all. This game tries to be real which is why people talk so much and there are a ton of numbers about how many warheads exist and why people hate each other, but they ignore basic things like the fact that people can see and that game players don’t like it when a game is just about random speeches about FBI investigations and references to older games nobody played.
Nothing in this game is good. It’s a random plot that makes no sense with random rants and videos about random things mixed with bad controls, irrealistic things, bad music, horrible graphics, not interesting characters, and it’s repetitive. At least it isn’t long, even though there are two sdiscs, since these guys didn’t make the game fun. They didn’t try too hard, they were just lazy and made something else instead. Something lame. This. Metal Gear Solid.
